


Can we try?

by enjolrazs



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blow Jobs, Bottom Surgery, Enthusiastic Consent, FTM Enjolras, Fingering, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Love, M/M, Masturbation, Modern Era, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, One Shot, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Plus Size Grantaire, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sex, Short, Smut, Some Plot, Trans Enjolras, Trans Male Character, first time penetrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:36:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29613006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolrazs/pseuds/enjolrazs
Summary: When Enjolras gets a letter confirming his bottom surgery he decides it's time for him and Grantaire to try something new – before it’s too late.
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)
Kudos: 15





	Can we try?

**Author's Note:**

> Written by a cis plus size girl and a trans boy.  
> We originally wrote this for each other but decided to share it here :)

Enjolras stared at the letter in his hands, making a mental note of the date and time of his first consultation for his long-awaited surgery. He held it close to him, wanting to keep the quiet moment to himself for a minute before letting the outside world in, including Grantaire, who after a moment turned around to look at him from the sofa. “Are you okay?” he asked, Enjolras nodding but silent as he walked over to him, sitting down and hiding his head in Grantaire’s neck. He passed him the letter, Grantaire reading it as he held him close, rubbing his arm gently. “That’s really great Enj,” he spoke softly, kissing the top of his head as he just let Enjolras be held for a while; the thought and news slightly overwhelming. He wanted a moment of peace, just the two of them together, nothing but love between them. It was still quite a while away, but the process had more officially begun.

It sank in slowly, a few days passing of constant chats between the pair, checking in on the other and their feelings. The thought had started to play on Enjolras’ mind. He had gone through his life avoiding contact there until he met Grantaire, who had helped him feel more comfortable, understood what he wanted and needed, as well as the opposite. The pair had not ever had true penetrative sex, though they had done most other things. Understandably it wasn’t something Enjolras had ever wanted, but now it sat heavy within him. He loved Grantaire, trusted him. Something told him he wanted to try, even just once, while he had the opportunity. Not only for himself but for his boyfriend; a moment to share together to prove their trust and desire. Grantaire was in the kitchen, Enjolras sat on the sofa when he asked him to come over, to talk with him properly. Grantaire sat by him, taking his hand and rubbing it gently, concern obvious as he asked what it was. He explained his want, his thoughts, asking Grantaire for his opinion who agreed to the idea, but on the basis of Enjolras making the call. A discussion of protection, Enjolras on both hormones and the pill taken until his first surgery, agreeing that they felt comfortable that this would be okay. They agreed on their future decision, soft words and positivity shared between them in response to the honesty and importance of their conversation.

The pair were laid in bed, watching something mindless, Enjolras’ head resting gently on his boyfriend. The room felt warm, safe, cosy. Though a week had passed, the discussion sat in the front of Enjolras’ mind. During this time, he had worked himself up over the idea, liking the thought more as time passed. Grantaire placed an absentminded kiss on the top of Enjolras’ head, the boy smiling and burying his face further into Grantaire’s bare chest. Silence hung in the air, Enjolras working himself up to speaking. His voice muffled when he did, blocked by the man's chest and his anxieties. "Can… can we try?" Enjolras asked, hesitating for a moment before moving so he could see Grantaire. He rested a hand on Enjolras’ cheek, stroking softly before clarifying if he meant now, Enjolras nodding in response. "Are you absolutely certain?" he asked, obviously concerned. He was aware that Enjolras had never done this before, not only with him but with anyone. It was a big thing for him to ask for, Grantaire only wanting him to be sure before he put him in a position he had never been in before. Enjolras nodded, a small but certain 'Yes' confirming his consent, pausing for a moment until he added 'Please’ to his request, Grantaire feeling flushed as he realised Enjolras did really want this. It wasn’t just a curiosity, an experiment, it was something that was exciting him to think of. There was something attractive about being the only person, something special. It made a much deeper connection, the thought exciting Grantaire more than he had imagined it to. The boys looked at each other for a few moments, neither sure of what to do, where to start. It felt much more important to get it right, for them to both be okay. Enjolras took the lead, understanding it was important for Grantaire and for himself to have that reassurance of desire. They shuffled, Grantaire sitting up so his back was against the bed head, Enjolras moving to take place on his lap. They shared gentle words and soft kisses, small reassurances as they planned it vaguely, not wanting any surprises or anything too sudden. Grantaire explained about previous experiences he had with this specific type of sex, trying to avoid gendered language or anything that may upset Enjolras. They decided to try, on the basis they could stop immediately, that they could stop before even trying. Grantaire too being reassured if he didn’t feel right or comfortable, the pair showing nothing but care for the other.

The energy in the room had shifted slightly, an electric excitement, an anticipation hanging in the air. Enjolras leaned down to kiss Grantaire, soft and slow at first. In return Grantaire gently ran his hands up and down Enjolras’ sides, small brushes, caressing. Enjolras had one hand on the bed frame, the other resting on the bed next to Grantaire. Their kiss deepened, remaining slow and sensual as their tongues intertwined. The movement encouraged their kiss to change, the both of them becoming more lost in the moment as their hands wandered. Grantaire pulled away from the kiss, his lips moving to Enjolras’ neck, his hands hovering at the bottom of his shirt. He tugged at it gently, Enjolras helping him remove this as they returned to the former position, Grantaire left small kisses over Enjolras’ chest, occasionally adding small bites, knowing Enjolras’ desire to be marked. He pushed himself into Grantaire’s lap, the pair carelessly rubbing against each other, Enjolras moaning softly as he felt his boyfriend hard against him, his body reacting to the little pleasures, small gasps with each touch on his sensitive area. Grantaire kissed back up his neck, Enjolras now leaning to bury his head in Grantaire's neck, whimpering softly. He was getting carried away quickly, the knowledge of what to come, Grantaire taking him, marking him his, owning him. The thoughts rushed through his head, making his body ache with want, with need. Grantaire's hands dropped to the boy's hips, carefully removing his boyfriend's trousers, difficult as Enjolras was struggling to stop the movement, his body crying out when the feeling stopped momentarily. He instead helped Grantaire remove his, taking their place back but now only separated by the fabric of their underwear.

Their lips met again, forceful and demanding. Grantaire moved his hand to Enjolras' stomach, moving his hand down slowly, touching Enjolras slightly over his underwear. He could feel the excitement through them, Enjolras admitting how wet he was, saying it before Grantaire could, before he could tease him. It caused a roll of pleasure through Grantaire, feeling it, hearing about it. It made his heart skip. Enjolras grinded against the movement, his hand shaking as he moved it to allow him to touch Grantaire. He palmed him softly before taking his shape, Grantaire's movement on Enjolras faltering as he felt the slow drags of the boy's hand, pulling his underwear with each motion, frustrating him further. Heavy breaths interrupted passionate kisses, enjoying feeling the other and being felt. It worked them both up easily, seeing each other's desire and want. Grantaire moved his hand, a whine of protest falling from Enjolras' lips soon forgotten as he helped him remove his boxers. Enjolras sat on his lap, now fully naked, both boys taking shaky breaths. Grantaire wrapped his arms around the boy, holding him gently, still covered for the time being. "Are you sure?" he asked again, Enjolras smiling, placing his forehead on his boyfriends. "I'm sure," Grantaire explained what he would do, wanting to be certain he wouldn't hurt him. It was better to be calm, to take it slow. To talk. Grantaire reassured him once again, Enjolras becoming a little more nervous hearing the preparations, his heart beating hard. A final consent made, a gentle kiss and words of love shared between them.

They decided to stay as they were, the position allowing Enjolras to easily move himself away or stop suddenly if he needed to. Grantaire slowly moved his hand to his previous position, rubbing softly. Small circles and brushes that left Enjolras' body humming, warmth rushing through his body quickly. After a few moments, Grantaire moved his hand further down. He watched Enjolras as he gently moved his hand inside of Enjolras, slow at first. The feeling wasn't new for Enjolras, but it was uncommon, more often avoided. His finger moved easily thanks to the boy's arousal, Grantaire feeling the wet on his hand, the tension in his body. Enjolras moved against the movement slowly, moaning quietly and every so often looking at Grantaire, his expression causing his body to react. Grantaire worked carefully, slowly. After a few moments he carefully added another finger, checking it didn't hurt before moving quicker after a few moments. Enjolras' hand fell to Grantaire's side, gripping onto him, intense waves of pleasure rushing through him, heightened only when he added a final finger. Enjolras winced at first, the same time a whimper falling from him, a sense of enjoyment from the small momentary pain. They paused like this for a moment, Enjolras feeling Grantaire inside of him but no longer moving. It made Enjolras gasp, looking at his boyfriend as he softly encouraged him not to move, to give him a chance to adjust. Enjolras was finding this difficult, his breath panting, the weight in his lower body begging him to move. After a few moments, Grantaire moved slowly, moving his hand inside of him, hitting his spot of desire. Enjolras' moans were becoming more erratic, any embarrassment or worries long faded from his head. His grasp tightening, his body hunching over Grantaire, his head buried in the man's shoulder whose free hand rubbed Enjolras' back gently, words of reassurance falling from his lips although Enjolras could only hear his heart beating intensely. His face still hidden, he pushed back on the motion, Grantaire feeling him moving around his fingers, a small moan of desire falling from him though he had not yet properly been touched. Enjolras' voice was muffled, his body rocking as he begged for Grantaire's body. He craved it, nothing else in the world able to reconcile him until he felt his boyfriend claim him.

Though it wasn't easy for him to do, Enjolras carefully motioned for Grantaire to stop, his hand removed gently. Enjolras moved off of his lap temporarily, pulling down the man's boxers with no hesitation. He was hard and had been for some time. The ache throbbed through him, begging for touch, for release. Enjolras smiled softly at him, both checking in quickly before he slowly lowered his head. Enjolras wrapped a hand around him, softly moving as he took the rest of the man into his mouth. The movement was gentle, soft runs of his tongue and gentle strokes of his hand. Grantaire struggled to control himself, allowing Enjolras to take the lead for a moment. He enjoyed the man's taste, taking in his body as he worked, teasing and building up the anticipation. His moans escaped him, grasping onto the bed, as to try to keep his touches on Enjolras delicate and loving. Enjolras moved his face away, his hand still working as he shifted up to kiss Grantaire softly, the boy's body trembling over his touch. Their faces close, Enjolras nibbled on his lip nervously before removing his hand and taking his place back on the man's lap. Innocent for a moment. Grantaire held him close, their naked bodies pressed together, pausing to remind each other of their love for one another.

Enjolras pulled himself up, space between them as Grantaire took himself into his hand, moving to adjust, to bring to the correct position. They looked at each other, both agreeing they were ready. Enjolras lowered himself slowly, Grantaire carefully manoeuvring himself inside of the boy, a slow, gentle movement. The boy let out a soft gasp, a gentle flinch as the unknown sensation ran through his body. Enjolras leaned down, kissing Grantaire slowly and gently, their bodies one, still, the both of them adjusting. Grantaire struggled to stay still, the feeling somehow different, euphoric. There was a difference in the knowing. It was more delicate, easier, freer movement allowed from the boy’s arousal. His body felt as if it was on fire, trying to keep his moans in, breathlessly asking Enjolras if he was okay, the boy nodding enthusiastically. Grantaire moved his hands to Enjolras’ hips, trying to take some of his weight as they worked together to create small movements. Their bodies trembled with want, Enjolras grasping onto the bed frame behind Grantaire’s shoulders. As they had agreed, Enjolras took the lead, slowly rising and lowering himself, Grantaire taking his pace, trying desperately to be considerate of what he needed and wanted as he tried to quieten his internal begs for more. The action was teasing, although it wasn’t intended to be. It dragged, Grantaire whimpering softly, Enjolras watching him as his head fell back slightly, resting against the wall gently. Seeing Grantaire like this encouraged him, not often taking such an intimate position, allowing their faces to be so close.

Enjolras leaned forward to kiss him, whimpering as he felt Grantaire move with him, the slight change in position causing a rush of pleasure. Enjolras gripped tighter onto the bed frame, his knuckles turning white. “There, there, please,” he begged, Grantaire beginning to move himself in return, pressing gently against the area, less delicately now. The speed quickened, Enjolras’ lips finally reaching Grantaire’s, both finding it difficult to kiss, their lips touching between shared moans. Enjolras felt lightheaded, an intense pleasure building inside of him, like nothing he had ever felt before. His body moved around Grantaire, small contractions of pleasure, enough for the man to feel. His face was burning, the man obviously struggling to keep himself coherent as Enjolras pressed himself further down, meeting the man’s hips. He watched as Enjolras moved one of his hands shakily, tracing down Grantaire’s stomach as he rode him. “Can I?” he asked, his voice breaking the silence in between their wanting noises. Grantaire smiled, reassuring him quietly as their lips met, a soft, intense kiss, filled with their love and desire.

Enjolras carefully dropped his hand to himself, gasping as he ran his hand over his intimacy. He touched himself, the pace quickening after a few moments. Feeling Grantaire moving inside of him, taking him, claiming him. He hunched over slightly, raising and lowering himself more urgently, all care disappearing, all his concern gone. He begged for it. Enjolras could feel himself getting close, telling Grantaire as he continued to reassure him quietly, a hand moving to his lower back, rubbing it softly. The boy worked himself hard, taking charge of his own pleasure as he grinded on Grantaire, each hit to his desire causing gradually louder moans. Grantaire could feel he was close, his muscles moving around him, signalling his long-awaited release was to soon happen. He took Enjolras in, the feeling, his face, his voice, his body, what he was doing to himself. It was hard for him to not take control. Enjolras free hand dropped from the frame to Grantaire’s shoulder, grasping onto him as he moved his hips, his body greedy for the release. Enjolras swore softly, pushing against the feeling, his hand faltering on himself as the pleasure overtook him in waves, each somehow more intense than the last. Grantaire gripped onto him gently, unable to hold in his moans as he felt Enjolras’ orgasm. Enjolras’ body shook intensely, his face blissful as he realised his eyes were squeezed shut. His body twitched gently, each movement causing pleasure to rush through him, the feeling intense.

Their bodies slowed, now still as Grantaire rubbed his back slowly. He could feel himself throbbing, knowing he was close, struggling to speak as he tried to reassure and care for Enjolras. Once he had caught his breath and regained control of himself, he let out a breath, “wow” only coming out as a whisper. Grantaire smiled at him, giving him a gentle kiss as asking if he was ready to move away. Enjolras looked almost offended, shaking his head quickly in retaliation. “No” he exclaimed, surprised by his stern beg. “No, please, you, you...you,” he stuttered, struggling to catch his breath, Grantaire rubbing his back softly as he asked what it was. “Please I want to...I want you to…I want you to finish. Please.” His voice was shy, Grantaire smiling as he felt a hum of gratitude rush through him, having worried he wouldn’t get his release. They paused for a moment, their bodies still together but remaining still, a gentle moment between intense desires.

Checking Enjolras was okay and ready, Grantaire gently began to move himself. The feeling was intense for Enjolras, incomprehensible after his release. He moved himself slowly, encouraging Grantaire as their bodies met. He moved to kiss Grantaire’s neck, the man whining softly below him as he felt the feeling building once again. His pace became urgent, demanding as Enjolras physically encouraged him, struggling to stay courteous of Enjolras as his body craved for release. Grantaire moved quickly, his body trembling as he moaned, pleasure rushing through him as he felt himself inside of Enjolras, only for him. Enjolras had begun to whimper, uncontrollable as he felt the man taking control of him, his movement slightly more forceful, his desire obvious. Enjolras placed his forehead on his boyfriends, watching his face up close as he moaned, his mouth open. It took a moment of courage, wanting to tell Grantaire what he wanted, what he needed, what he expected. Grantaire’s eyes opened as he heard Enjolras’ beginning to speak the words more than enough to send Grantaire over the edge, losing himself as he moaned out. Enjolras felt the warmth spreading inside of him, somehow different to what he was used to. He felt proud, special somehow as Grantaire slowly removed himself, panting softly. He looked at Enjolras gently, before asking if he could see. The boy turned red, nodding shyly as he removed himself from Grantaire’s lap, his legs shaking and sore as he laid on his back. Grantaire moved himself lower, gently moving Enjolras’ legs apart and spreading him carefully. He watched his own arousal softly dripping from Enjolras’ intimacy, blushing as the thought overwhelmed him. Grantaire knew he should’ve asked permission, but found he was unable to control himself. He leaned in, running his tongue on the boy, cleaning the mess he had made. The warmth of his mouth made Enjolras moan, gripping onto his hair gently. Grantaire hummed as he tasted the both of them, only for a few moments but enough for the both of them to enjoy.

The couple smiled at each other, a moment of quiet, content. Grantaire opened his arms, Enjolras happily snuggling up against the man. Their bodies intertwined, warm, slow movements signifying their shared sleepiness. Grantaire kissed the top of his head, whispering sweetly how well he'd done, how much he loved him, what a perfect boy he was. Enjolras smiled, his eyes gently closed as he listened to the man speak, pride sitting in his chest. Enjolras did the same, thanking him genuinely for his support, care and love. After a few moments, Grantaire jolted ever so slightly. He took Enjolras’ hand and encouraged him to stand, telling him to go to the toilet if he could. He agreed, though upon standing his legs felt sore, a dull slight ache between his hips. Grantaire wrapped an arm around his waist, helping him move and helping him sit down, grumpy to move from bed but Grantaire reminding him how important it was. He cleaned himself up quickly, pulling on a clean pair of underwear before helping Enjolras clean up too. They brushed their teeth together, neither man having the energy but Grantaire wanting to ensure they woke up feeling clean. Enjolras looked at himself in the mirror, asking Grantaire if he could have a minute alone. Grantaire hesitantly agreed, only upon hearing Enjolras was okay and that nothing was wrong. He sat on the edge of the bath, thinking about what had happened. About himself. Just processing it for a moment alone, needing the time to adjust to a big moment of change, one of many to come. Grantaire made sure the bed was clean, gathering their dirty clothes and placing them close to the bathroom door. He drank a quick swig of water before filling up a glass and checking on Enjolras. He helped him return to the bedroom, helping dress him with care. Enjolras' eyes tired as he sat up, watching Grantaire flutter around the room. He grabbed Enjolras' packet of tablets, sneaking them onto the bedside table along with the glass of water. He worried about overwhelming him, but he felt better for silently giving him the reminder. Grantaire eventually joined him in bed, gently helping Enjolras lay down as he held him close. Half asleep words of love were spoken alongside occasional innocent touches and kisses. The pair eventually fell to sleep, their bodies close and limbs thrown over the other, the sound of the other's gentle breathing encouraging their slumber.


End file.
